To Love A Human
by Himeko
Summary: [SesshyRin] Set in the future, Rin has matured and Sesshoumaru struggles with his growing fondness for her. Now Rin faces a fight for her life that even he cannot defend her against. Will she die without him ever learning how to love humans? [UPDATED]
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: InuYasha is written by Rumiko Takahashi. I do not own anything mentioned in this fanfic besides the idea of the fanfic.

To Love A Human

Prologue

It was dark, so very dark. The crescent moon was shrouded by a mist of clouds, casting a dim light that proved ineffective with all the obstruction from the lush leaves and the multitude of branches of the forest.

The silhouette of a man adorned in elaborate kimono with a fur pelt draped over his right shoulder stood out from the dark forms of tree trunks and bushes, as a voice nearby quietly acknowledged his arrival. 

"Sesshoumaru, you have come again as I hoped."

The demon Lord of the Western lands turned slightly towards the sound of the voice, and looked up just as a face appeared on the trunk of the ancient magnolia hypoleuca tree.

"Bokusenou, I have come to ask you about a certain matter," Sesshoumaru said in reply, sparing no time for idle talk. He didn't like the idea of coming to Bokusenou for information, but his father's old acquaintance was his best bet for answers he needed.

The sound of rustling leaves was heard in the gentle breeze that swept in as Bokusenou responded in a slow and wise drawl, "And what would that be, Sesshoumaru, that is so private that you excused yourself from the presence of your other followers?"

Sesshoumaru hesitated. So the old tree did notice after all. He knew the tree was wise beyond any other creature, and the fact that he came here tonight without Rin or Jaken would already be leading it to some conclusions – none of which Sesshoumaru was in favour of. But at the same time he knew that Bokusenou's wisdom probably would enable it to see through any creature. _Can he already see through my purpose in being here?_

He treaded with calculated caution. "Is there a way for a human to turn into a youkai?"

As the wind began to pick up its pace, the louder the rustling of leaves became, seemingly prolonging the silence between the two immortals as Sesshoumaru waited for his answer.

Finally, it came to him in an almost inaudible whisper. "Yes…"

Sesshoumaru continued waiting for Bokusenou to elaborate further while his mind focused on the impact of that one word. _Yes… yes there is a way…_

"Buryuso," said the old tree.

"Buryuso?"

"Yes, Buryuso has the power to do that. He is a youkai who angered the gods long ago, and they put a curse on him. No longer does he smell like a youkai to other youkai, or to those others who are able to detent scents. Buryuso has the scent of a human."

"So he is a human then," Sesshoumaru concluded in a tone of near-disgust.

"No, he isn't human. He just _smells_ like a human so that he is looked down on by those of his rank. He is still a youkai.

"Buryuso's curse ostracises him. Fellow youkai won't interact with him, and humans… Humans fear him because of his ability to make them into demons. Because of this, Buryuso lives in seclusion… to hide from his shame," Bokusenou explained.

"Naruhodo," said Sesshoumaru before asking the one more important question he had on his mind ever since Bokusenou mentioned Buryuso. "Where is he?" [naruhodo: I see]

"Buryuso lives far down south of your kingdom, hiding in the caves of the mountainous area there. 

"But be careful…" Bokusenou added, unfinished with a warning. However Sesshoumaru had already taken his leave. 

Softly, Bokusenou whispered into the wind, hoping that it would carry word to Sesshoumaru's ear. "The land is cursed with a human plague that could kill the mortal girl of yours…"

Perhaps, thought Bokusenou as he shrunk back into the image of aged tree bark, Sesshoumaru has finally taken a step in the path his father laid out for him.

---------------

Author's Note: I might bring up the rating of the story as it progresses, but for now it's PG13. However, I can also post separate versions of the story, PG and R... I haven't quite decided yet. Does anyone want a lemon? XD I would greatly appreciate it if you can tell me through reviews, whether to post separate versions of this story or to just make it R. ^_^;; arigatou!


	2. Chapter One

Disclaimer: InuYasha is written by Rumiko Takahashi. I do not own anything mentioned in this fanfic besides the idea of the fanfic.

To Love A Human

Chapter One

It was near dawn when Sesshoumaru returned to the place where he let Rin, Jaken and Ah-Un stop for the night. Though Rin was probably the only one who needed the rest, he had ordered Jaken and Ah-Un to keep watch over her while he made his trip out alone.

He walked slowly, his feet making the softest sounds over the dew-showered grass that grew abound in that area, and stopped when he was close by Rin's sleeping form. Beautiful, simple, vulnerable Rin. _Weakling_, his demon senses told him, giving her just the same recognition as any other human.

She was laying on her side, curled up with her knees brought close to her chest, her head resting on one arm while holding a bouquet of wild flowers in the other. _She probably plucked them for me again. _Until now, Rin was still in the habit of gathering flowers for him whenever possible. Not that he thought it was a bad habit…

Her body rose and fell faintly with her gentle rhythmic breathing, and she wore the most peaceful expression Sesshoumaru had ever seen on her face. If he didn't already know she was a human, he would have mistaken her for an angel by sight alone.

Jaken and Ah-Un weren't far away, he could tell. Jaken's snoring was a great annoyance, but Sesshoumaru chose to ignore it for the moment while he continued gazing at the human child he fostered. After all, he would never allow himself to look at her the way he was now when there were others about.

She had grown significantly over the years. It had been over a decade since he raised her with Tenseiga, he realised. He concluded that the way time seemed to just fly by so quickly was because he was immortal. Within the blink of his eye, Rin was now nearly a woman. She was about the height of his chin now, he supposed, and for a period of time he had to keep getting new clothing for her because of how rapidly she shot up. Her youthful face had changed a little. She still had those bright and adoring eyes, though now they had taken on a more tender look compared to when they were always wide and sparkling with curiosity when she was younger. She had also developed high and refined cheekbones, and a delicate little mouth.

The sun was rising, casting warm, soft rays of light upon her sleeping figure. Even with her slightly tousled hair and the spots of dirt on her kimono from all the travelling, she still looked absolutely precious.

Sesshoumaru was almost reluctant to have to wake her. He decided to pass the task to Jaken.

Instead of walking over to wake him up, Sesshoumaru chose to save himself the time and further irritation of calling his name repeatedly until he roused. 

He picked up a pebble.

Jaken was up in no time, screeching a shocked outcry when the pebble hit his head forcefully and bounced off.

"Jaken," said Sesshoumaru calmly to bring the Musashino back to his senses. His snoring was easier on the ears than his screaming, Sesshoumaru decided.

"Ah! Sesshoumaru-sama!" Jaken exclaimed when his head was finally cleared of both sleep and shock. "Ohayo gozaimasu!" he finished with his usual reverent bowing.

Already walking away with Ah-Un not far behind (who was probably awoken by Jaken's screaming), Sesshoumaru gave his order. "Go and wake Rin. We're leaving."

Two weeks later, they were still travelling. Rin wasn't one to complain, but she was feeling rather fatigued. She was used to walking long distances because of Sesshoumaru's nomadic lifestyle, but he had carried on without pausing for a rest for a much longer stretch this time, and she had barely found anything to eat the last time he let her look for food.

"Jaken-sama," she said, turning to the small youkai walking beside her. "When are we going to have a break?"

"Whenever Sesshoumaru-sama thinks it best," Jaken replied proudly with total faith in Sesshoumaru's decisions, even if he was panting heavily from all the half-walking, half-running he had to do to keep up with them.

"Oh," said Rin, a little disappointedly. Sesshoumaru had never exhausted them with so much walking before. _Demo Sesshoumaru-sama said it wouldn't be much longer._ Whatever it was, Rin was certain Sesshoumaru knew what he was doing, and if it meant she had to walk even though her legs were begging for her to sit and her feet were aching painfully, she would follow him.

She decided to think of all the nice things he had done for her so far to distract herself from how tired she was. Just yesterday when they passed a small village, he sent Jaken with her to get her a new kimono. Her last one hadn't been too well worn yet, and she was surprised by his generosity. She was so happy that evening when she returned to his side, proudly dressed in the pretty new peach-coloured kimono he provided for her. The bottom edges were muddy now though, she thought dolefully as they had been treading through damp grounds.

There were of course, a few not-so-nice times. Once, he brought her to a village and told her to return to her kind. As expected, she couldn't do that. _Rin is loyal to Sesshoumaru-sama!_ She had told him that pleadingly, hoping he wouldn't push her away like that. He turned and let her follow him away from the village. Later, she asked him if he really meant for her to go, because if he did, she would obey his wishes. Just when she thought he wouldn't answer her after having waited for a few minutes in silence, he told her it was a test. A test, of course! Rin was sure from then that Sesshoumaru wanted her along with him. The thought stained her cheeks with a blush.

Rin looked ahead of her at the figure walking ahead of them, with elegant long white hair that swayed lightly as he walked in his normal regal manner. She thought of how Sesshoumaru always came to her rescue and a smile touched her lips. She knew he cared for her in a gentle, unspoken manner that delighted her. She didn't mind that he never directly said anything kind or affectionate in nature to her, or that he always looked and sounded impassive. She knew that he would always protect and take care of her. Now if only she weren't feeling so faint, she would be able to catch up with him and walk by his side. Was it just her, or was Sesshoumaru becoming fuzzy? He certainly was starting to look that way to her, she thought, rubbing her eyes. Strange, but the heavy-headedness she woke up with this morning was starting to feel as if a thousand hammers were trying to pound their way out of her head.

Sesshoumaru was mentally occupied. He was still at war with himself whether he was doing the right thing. _I thought I had already decided when I went to look for Bokusenou._

In addition, Rin's scent was driving him to distraction. It always did at this time – when she was in heat. When she first started her courses, he had left her for short intervals with Jaken and Ah-Un, or at a nearby village on rare occasions, so that he wouldn't have to be in constant presence of her arousing state. However this plan was in vain. Because of the years of traveling with them, Rin was doused with youkai scent that disguised her human scent from youkai of lower levels. This brought about new problems, even if other youkai stopped looking at her as food.

No, they definitely saw something else; 'food' in a different light, Sesshoumaru thought in disgust as he frowned.

He couldn't leave her by herself while she was in heat any longer. He had the job of protecting her from lecherous youkai added to his list of responsibilities. _No, it wasn't just youkai._ There was a disturbingly increasing number of instances where he's had to protect her against her _own _kind. _How typical of the human mind to be controlled by a pretty face. _He recalled how he exterminated those who tried their luck with Rin. _And how easily they welcome death for it too_, he added.

In truth though, he would much rather defend her from humans than from youkai. Not because it was easier, but because by defending her from youkai, he was letting her existence with him be known to other youkai. It was a tad bit disturbing. The fewer times it happened, the better.

Despite all the troubles of having Rin along with him, Sesshoumaru didn't mind. He had his reasons for keeping her, but those reasons were starting to change… 

His frown intensified.

Stepping lightly over a mud puddle his senses warned him about seconds before, he spoke for the first time in hours to the rest behind him. "There is a mud puddle here. Don't fall in."

He was returning to his thoughts when he heard a soft sound, like a whimper coming from behind him, followed by a low thud echoed with a splash.

"Rin!"

---------------

Author's Notes: Arigatou minna-san for your reviews ^_^ now onto the story stuff. This story will eventually be R-rated… it won't be a PG one. But for now since its gonna be 'clean' for a while, it will stick to its current rating. No graphic sex though, unlike what people thought when I mentioned 'lemon'. Not much action will happen either. It is Romance/Drama, not Action/Romance. I will probably add a PG version later. Just stick around and you'll see what's coming ^_~

I mentioned in the story that Jaken is a Musashino. I'm not entirely sure if that's his species, but its what I saw in one of the episodes so I assumed it so. Do correct me if I'm wrong. Arigatou ^^


	3. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: InuYasha is written by Rumiko Takahashi. I do not own anything mentioned in this fanfic besides the idea of the fanfic.

To Love A Human

Chapter Two

Rin awoke to the sound of running water. Sitting up, she rubbed her eyes to try and clear her vision.

"Oh you're up," said Jaken who was standing next to her.

"H-hai," Rin managed to answer. The headache she was having earlier on had returned, with a vengeance.  She winced, then squinted as she looked around while Jaken went on and on, telling her not to do such a thing like that again and scaring him (_and_ Sesshoumaru-sama). But her mind was barely registering anything he said.

They had laid her down in a fresh field of grass, and the sound of running water she heard was from a brook a few steps away from where she lay. _What happened?_

The last thing she remembered was suddenly feeling extremely light-headed, right before hearing a splashing sound.

She looked down and cried out in dismay at the sight. Her new kimono! Mud was caked all over it, covering the beautiful and intricate patterns. It was ruined. 

Rin felt her eyes burning up with tears as she continued staring at the mess. _What will Sesshoumaru-sama say?_ She didn't want him to think her ungrateful and she felt simply awful for soiling the pretty kimono. _But I didn't mean to!_ As it was, she could scarcely remember anything at the moment with her head throbbing so painfully.

She suddenly wanted to find Sesshoumaru.

_Sesshoumaru-sama, Sesshoumaru-sama,_ his name ran over and over again in her mind as she struggled to stand. _Where is he?_ She looked about desperately, trying to ignore how wobbly her legs were feeling.

"Jaken-sama!" she called, interrupting his ineffective lecture for what she did.  "Where is Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"Eh?" said Jaken, slightly thrown off by her unrelated question.  "Sesshoumaru-sama? Oh, he's over there," he said, pointing towards the entrance of the forest area.

Rin ran forward without hesitation, fully intending to apologise for the mess she made of herself. 

"Hey! Wait for me!" Jaken cried out behind her, but she took no notice of him as she caught sight of her master.

He was sitting on a huge rock with his face overshadowed by the canopy of leaves above, his arm resting casually atop his right leg. He was staring into the distance with a far-away look on his face.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!"

The while-haired youkai lord turned his head gracefully at the sound of his name, and watched in hidden puzzlement as Rin fell to her knees before him.

"Gomen nasai!" 

_Sorry… sorry for what?_

"Rin ruined the kimono! Rin is really sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama! Please don't think Rin is ungrateful. Rin really likes whatever Sesshoumaru-sama provides for her!"

Sesshoumaru was surprised at her emotional outburst over such an insignificant thing. Why, he could just let Jaken bring her into the next village they passed to get another kimono. Furthermore, Rin was speaking of herself in third-person. She used to do that when she was young, but gradually she changed her way of speech. Now it was only used when she thought she had misbehaved.

Making sure he sounded emotionless, he told her the kimono didn't matter, and wondered silently to himself why she was so distraught over it.

Her mood brightened visibly after she understood that it was all right with him. _Does my approval mean that much to her?_ It was after all, just a kimono. She smiled cheerily in relief, and proceeded to ask him a question that he found rather odd.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, why did we stop?"

_Because you fainted. Because I was worried. Because I realised that I exhausted you and that humans need rest._

He looked at her wordlessly instead.

"You fainted! Don't you remember?" Jaken chose that moment to make his entrance, panting from his sprint after Rin.

"Rin… fainted?" she repeated as if confessing a grave sin.

"That's right!" said Jaken, breaking into another tirade. "You are such an inconvenience! If not for you, Sesshoumaru-sama would be able to reach his destination within _half _the time we are taking now with you along. He always stops for you! And you apologised for the _kimono_! You should be apologising for making Sesshoumaru-sama _carry_ you all the way here, out of the route he intended to take just to let you rest! And—"

Sesshoumaru felt the urgent need to hit Jaken with something. "Jaken, cut it out," he ordered before more damage was done.  

"Ah hai, Sesshoumaru-sama!"

He glanced over at Rin, who was now looking downcast after being stunned by Jaken's unnecessary reprimanding.

"Rin," he said gently, watching her as she humbly lifted her eyes to meet his gaze. He saw her lips about to mouth to another apology and interrupted her before she could. "Go and freshen yourself up by the stream."

Obediently, Rin got to her feet and walked slowly back the way she came.

"Anou Sesshoumaru-sama…" Jaken began, only to be cut off a second later. [anou: um/uh/er… you get the idea]

"Jaken, go and find Ah-Un and bring him back," Sesshoumaru bit out impatiently, thoroughly displeased by the way Jaken had spoken to Rin.

"H-hai!" Jaken rushed out in fear, hoping to gain back his lord's approval for whatever wrongs he committed unknowingly. He was off in no time, combing the woods for Ah-Un.

Out of the corner of his eye, Sesshoumaru made sure Jaken was out of sight before he brought his attention back to the receding figure of Rin, now a black silhouette outlined by rays of the setting sun.  

_"Rin!"_ Jaken had yelled when she collapsed in the pool of mud, most likely having lost her footing — and her consciousness. She was probably barely holding up after he led them on for so many hours, he thought remorsefully. He had been careless, wrapping himself so much in his thoughts that he forgot about her.

He usually stopped to let her rest more frequently whenever Ah-Un wasn't with them. With Ah-Un, she would be riding instead of walking. 

Sesshoumaru shut his eyes as guilt and self-loathing poured through his veins like acid, biting at his conscience.

_She is so devoted to you that she followed you without a word of complaint until her body gave out._

Devotion. Was that what set her apart from other humans, or was it a trait of the human race? Was that why _he_ let her follow him around? Was that why he even felt obliged to _care_ for her needs?

He reopened his eyes to watch her kneeling beside the stream, drinking its fresh water from her cupped hands. When next he blinked, he saw the memory of a youthful girl before him, pleading with him desperately, her beautiful brown eyes filled with anguish.

_"Rin is loyal to Sesshoumaru-sama!"_

Ah yes, he remembered the time he tried to return her to her own kind. A few more years and she would have been of marriageable age, going by human standards, and he had thought it a good idea to let her get settled in one of the villages so she would have time to get used to being around her kind before marriage.

That was when he had planned to return her by the time she grew to her current age, so he didn't have see her anymore. _Or smell the intoxicating scent of her in heat._

However, that was only part of the reason. His answer to her question that night was true. It was a test. 

To him, humans were shallow, fickle-minded beings, easily swayed in opinions and just as easily manipulated because of that.

He wanted to see if Rin was like what he had concluded of her kind.

_She isn't._

Sesshoumaru looked up to see Rin walking back to him, smiling as she asked if they were leaving soon.

_She even hides her exhaustion behind that smile of hers._ She was most likely unaware that she had slept about half the day away, as proof of how worn-out her body was.

"No, Rin. We're staying here for the night." He would give her all the rest she needed for the journey tomorrow, to make up for the inconsiderate way he pushed her to her limits.

She nodded in acknowledgement and sat herself at the base of the rock he was on. 

He tensed.

Her back was facing him as she gazed forward at the sunset. She had tied up her hair and loosened her kimono at the neckline while refreshing herself at the brook. Her long slender neck was fully exposed, along with part of her back and her chest area. And there was still that alluring scent of hers hanging in the air.

From the height and angle Sesshoumaru was seated at above her, he was given generous display of…

He averted his eyes and said coolly, "Rin, you should go and find your food before it gets too dark." _while I work at putting some distance between us._ There _was_ a reason why he sat so far from her when she was still unconscious.

She turned her head to look at him while she answered glumly, "But I'm not hungry, Sesshoumaru-sama." When she caught sight of his grim expression however, she added, "Would you prefer me to?"

Sesshoumaru didn't answer her. He thought it was unusual that she wasn't hungry. Normally she would be starving by the end of the day.

He also noticed she was less energetic today, and it wasn't just that she passed out earlier on. Usually she would be building a small campfire at this hour. Instead, she had sighed a moment ago and leaned her side against the rock, a sign that she probably wasn't going to get up to do anything, be it starting a fire or looking for food.

Its nothing, he told himself, dismissing her queer behaviour today as something brought about by the strange chemical changes in her human body.

After all, this was all going to change when they meet this Buryuso. No longer would she tire so easily. No longer would she have to eat constantly. No longer would she suffer from this strange cycle that female mortals go through. And no longer would he have to hold himself back from her, ever.

---------------

Author's Notes: Not much to say here. Somebody reviewed asking about who Ah-Un is. For those of you who don't already know, Ah-Un is the two-headed dragon youkai that Sesshoumaru uses like a horse.

There is also some side info I'd like to add here about Sesshoumaru's… 'attraction' to Rin. In Japanese custom, the neck is considered a sensual part of a woman's body. Geishas/Geikos usually wear their kimonos with it exposing their neck and upper back. They also have two or three lines drawn along the back of their necks to emphasise its length.

Arigatou minna for your reviews and I hope you will continue giving me your greatly appreciated feedback ^_^ it inspires me to churn out chapters faster XD


	4. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: InuYasha is written by Rumiko Takahashi. I do not own anything mentioned in this fanfic besides the idea of the fanfic.

To Love A Human

Chapter Three

Baka, Rin chided herself as she lifted her leg, gingerly feeling with her toes and the pad of her foot for signs of a twig before stepping down. The sun had set some time ago, and it was so dark now that she could no longer rely on her eyes. Stretching her free arm out, she felt for the rough bark of a tree trunk, gasping with relief when she found it. Leaning onto her newfound support, she paused for breath as she tightened her grip protectively on the small bunch of twigs she gathered for a fire under her other arm. She couldn't afford to lose even one. [baka: idiot/stupid]

Her head felt heavy and breathing seemed to require more effort than usual. _Why didn't I remember earlier?_ It was a habit of hers to gather firewood before the sun was completely set so that they'd have a little bonfire by the time it became too dark to see even one's outstretched hand. Today however, she only remembered her task when the sun was a thin fading line of orange-red.

Now it was pitch-black all around. The only thing she could make out was the forest opening. The clearing there was visible with the luminous moon's help, but it wasn't so for the forest. Rin knew that if she ventured too far in, even the forest opening would be lost to her as well.

She sighed in defeat. _I should just give it up._ It was really quite helpless, and her limbs were aching with more than just the strain of bending and straightening up with each twig she found.

Just as she was about to head back to where Sesshoumaru was, she remembered the time when Jaken had walked into the wall of a cave and cursed profusely afterward. The fire had died out at that time.

No, she definitely had to collect enough firewood to last until Jaken came back at least. Rin didn't want him getting into any more accidents in the dark. She grimaced at the knowledge that she had only collected a minuscule number of twigs. 

Twigs. What good were a few twigs? They would probably only last a few minutes under the fire. 

Rin forced herself to stand, pulling away from the welcoming support of the thick trunk as she continued her search for more firewood.

Not far away, Sesshoumaru was looking for a shelter for the night. He wasn't the least bit concerned that Rin might get lost. It was easy to find her. Her scent was so strong during this time that he was more bothered about the night ahead when other youkai picked up her trail. That was the reason behind his search now. He had to find a cave of some sort, so that he could stand guard for predators.

It was a chore, no doubt about that. Without her, he wouldn't even need to rest, nor would he need to look for shelter for the night. On the other hand, the risk of Rin being harassed by a youkai scum filled him with such a rage that both surprised and angered him further.

_She is a human. You are a youkai lord._

Sesshoumaru couldn't understand it. Why even bother watching out for this mere human girl? Although he would tell others offhandedly that she didn't mean anything to him, the truth was that she did. However, for appearances' sake, he would deny any personal connection with her. He could barely bring himself to face the truth as it was.

His search brought him to a small clearing at the base of a cliff. Since there were no caves to be seen, this would have to do, Sesshoumaru thought to himself as he drew out his sword, Toukijin. Pointing it at the cliff, he released a beam of energy that ate through the rock until he was satisfied with the size of the makeshift cavern. He would have to wait some time before it was safe to enter though, for there were clumps of molten rock lining the inside of the cavity.

Perhaps he should use this time to look for Rin, he thought. She had been gone for a while now, and he didn't like the idea of her wandering by herself for too long. True that he could still tell if she was in the vicinity by her scent, but there was a chance that she could be attacked _in_ the vicinity and not abducted.

Sesshoumaru put away his sword and walked back, thinking to himself that he should have asked Rin where she was going, just that he wasn't accustomed to asking such things. She had risen to her feet when the sun was almost set and went about her way. _But where could she have gone at such a late hour? _He knew it would be nearly impossible for her to see anything once it was dark in the forest. She didn't have night vision like him.

He was close. There wasn't even any need for him to look to make sure. Her scent alone was drawing him towards her like a moth to a flame.

Glancing to his side, he saw her, just as his senses predicted.

Rin was sitting with her back to a tree with her head resting on her raised knees. Sesshoumaru heard her cough weakly, and her breathing sounded slightly laboured.

He walked towards her, and she raised her head at the sound of his footsteps crunching softly on the foliage.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" She was looking about blindly when she spoke.

"Aa," he answered, stopping just beside her as she stood up and stared blankly ahead of her, unable to locate where he was. [aa: yes]

In the darkness, she seemed so frail and vulnerable, looking helplessly around her. He could see what an easy target she was, being totally defenceless and open for attack at any one time. A youkai with night vision like him could just sneak up on her and grab her. He didn't even need to do it from behind her — she wouldn't be able to tell anyhow.

Taking the end portion of his fur pelt, he brought it forward to touch her hand. Instinctively with complete trust, she closed her hand around the help offered.

"Let's go." He started walking back, fully expecting her to follow him. The resistant tug came as a surprise. 

He stopped. Without turning back to look at her, he demanded, "Nande?" [nande: what is it]

"Rin… couldn't find enough firewood," she admitted meekly. 

_Firewood? She went through all this trouble just for firewood? _Sesshoumaru turned and stared at her. She stood rooted to the ground, one hand holding tightly onto his pelt that he meant as a guide for her while the other clutched a bunch of worthless twigs.

"Jaken-sama might walk into another wall if Rin doesn't make a big enough fire to last till he returns," she added. "Rin doesn't want that to happen."

As much as Sesshoumaru would have liked for understanding to dawn on him with her explanation, it didn't. Why in the world would she trouble herself to make a fire so that Jaken wouldn't walk into another wall? She should be resting, not putting herself at risk needlessly in the dead of the night.

"Let's go," he repeated firmly.

"Demo Sesshoumaru-sama!" she pleaded. Sesshoumaru was actually relieved she couldn't look into his eyes now. There was no way he could resist her when she looked at him with those wide and adoring eyes, begging for his pardon. [demo: but]

His expression hardened, but he relented. Even if she wasn't making a fire for Jaken's sake, those twigs weren't going to get her anywhere. He spread his claws out and easily slashed the tree closest to him into relatively small chunks of wood, then drew out Toukijin and stabbed it into the earth so that its glow provided her with enough light to gather the wood.

Understanding his actions, Rin immediately collected as much wood as she could hold, then went back to take the end of his fur pelt in her hand as Sesshoumaru withdrew his sword and darkness settled on them again.

"Arigatou, Sesshoumaru-sama!" she smiled, satisfied.

With that matter settled, he walked her back to the cave where she built a small bonfire.

Rin yawned. Despite her efforts to try and stay awake for Jaken's return, the heat from the fire was making her feel even drowsier. She wanted to make sure the fire lasted till Jaken got back from whatever errand Sesshoumaru sent him out on.

A little earlier, Sesshoumaru had led her into the cave. He waited until she got the fire going, then left her alone while he went… someplace else. Rin never really knew for sure where Sesshoumaru disappeared to at times because he never told her, and she felt it wasn't in her place to ask.

The headache that had been plaguing her throughout the day hadn't seized nor lightened, and if anything, she was feeling worse. Nausea had set in together with her drowsiness. She had to stop and rest while looking for firewood earlier on because she just couldn't seem to hold herself up anymore. Thankfully, Sesshoumaru found her a short while later.

_What's wrong with me?_ Rin couldn't remember feeling like this before. She hadn't eaten much during the day, so it couldn't be a stomach ailment, and she was fine the day before.

She decided to lie down in an attempt to quell the queasiness building up within her. _I wonder where is Sesshoumaru-sama._

Rin felt lonely. The cave was dark and gloomy, save for the small bonfire she built. She remembered many years ago when she was a little girl living in the village with her parents and her brother. She had fallen ill at one time, and she couldn't go out to play. Her mother would cradle her to her breast and sing softly to her until she fell asleep in a bid to comfort and ease her.

Rin wanted someone with her right now, just like how her mother was by her side when she was ill. But she didn't want just _anyone. _She wanted Sesshoumaru to be there.

_Baka! Sesshoumaru-sama is busy!_

She had learned by and by that Sesshoumaru disliked humans. He would always avoid villages, unless she needed something from there, and even so he would send Jaken with her. He would never step into a human village.

And she was a human. _You don't deserve his attention, and you should already be grateful that he takes care of you. _

Rin curled up in a foetal position, trying to face the harsh reality. Still, she couldn't get rid of the thought of him with his arm around her, offering her the comfort that she needed so much now.

_Baka baka baka!_ She shook her head, trying to clear it of her impossible fantasies. She only succeeded in making the headache worse.

Whimpering quietly, Rin shut her eyes tightly and hoped sleep would come quickly to wash away everything she was feeling now, from the pain and nausea to the tightness in her chest whenever she visualised Sesshoumaru in her mind.

She forgot all about waiting for Jaken to return, and gradually fell into a fitful slumber.

---------------

Author's Notes: I tried! *cries* I tried to focus a bit on Rin's emotions towards Sesshoumaru… it doesn't sound too good to me. It's a bit difficult to mix it in with her feeling all sick and stuff. Plus, one has to keep in mind that Rin is probably a really naïve and innocent girl since she doesn't have much interaction with other people ever since she followed Sesshoumaru. I imagined that if she doesn't see other lovers, the most she thinks of love and affection is what she recalls from her past family.

The 'aching' I mentioned in Rin's limbs was generated from the idea of high fever. You know… when you get a really high fever, even your limbs and teeth ache? That's the feeling I was trying to accomplish _ Gomen if it didn't come out quite right.

I also went through different ideas of how Sesshoumaru was gonna lead her back in the dark. One of them was for him to carry her, but it felt OOC to me. I think Sesshoumaru only carries her when it's absolutely necessary. He's far too dignified and proud to do so normally (why else does he always let Rin ride on Ah-Un?). Well, that's just in my opinion ^^6 However I thought it was kinda cute to have Rin tagging along behind Sesshoumaru using his fur pelt XD like something a little girl would do… tugging on daddy's sleeve or something. It _could _be something she did, and that he got used to. You never know XD

Well, that's enough crapping here ^^6 by the way, would anyone like a mailing list? Do review if you want one.


	5. Chapter Four

Disclaimer: InuYasha is written by Rumiko Takahashi. I do not own anything mentioned in this fanfic besides the idea of the fanfic.

To Love A Human

Chapter Four

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes as a gust of wind blew into his face and sent his hair billowing behind him. He breathed in deeply, checking for any foreign youkai scents. To his relief, there were none.

He wasn't very far from where Rin was. In fact, he was probably directly above her. After he left her for the night, he went to the spot that he thought the best to stand guard at: the top of the cliff. He was sitting there now, waiting for dawn to come so that they could resume their journey south.

_Just a few more days…_

A few more days and they would reach the mountainous area Bokusenou had mentioned about to him. They had been travelling for about a fortnight, and still he was debating over the nagging question that refused to be resolved ever since they started out that morning.

_Is it right?_

Was it right to change Rin into something she wasn't? At first he thought that this would be the best solution. He knew, even though he was reluctant to admit to himself, that she meant something to him. 

He thought about her day and night. Her beautiful smile, her twinkling eyes, and her sweet, sweet voice never left him alone. Not a day would pass without him having the urge to hold her, or to touch her… to savour her exquisite sweetness.

There was a growing hunger within him that he couldn't comprehend. It tugged at his heart whenever she gave him that smile of hers, or whenever she tried to do something nice for him to show him how she much adored him.

Sesshoumaru didn't like the feeling. He didn't like anything he couldn't figure out logically. Part of the reason why he felt himself above others was because he always made sure he was one step ahead of them. He had to know _everything._

Maybe, he had thought to himself some time ago, if he allowed himself to hold her once, just once, the hunger would be satisfied. The craving would stop and he would once again feel at peace. She wouldn't keep haunting his thoughts anymore. However, he wouldn't give in to his urges yet if he couldn't form any conclusions as to what his actions would lead to.

As he spent more time thinking about it, Sesshoumaru knew that this would not be the case. The thought of holding her, pressing her body close to his, only made the craving more intense. Once wouldn't be enough to satisfy him.

What then? What was it he could do to stop this feeling? It drove him mad with frustration that he had to keep in close check so he wouldn't worry Rin with any outward displays of uncalled-for wrath.

That wasn't the only thing that drove him mad. He was infuriated with himself for even thinking of showing affection to Rin. A human. He was far above those weak creatures, and he definitely wasn't going to stoop as low as that.

He struck on an idea then. Why not change her into a youkai? That way, he wouldn't be bothered anymore about her being born from a weak race. A plus point to this was that she would be immortal. He would want her to stay alive until he found his answer. All humans die eventually; even Tenseiga couldn't stop that fact of life.

This, Sesshoumaru thought, was definitely the solution to the problem. That was of course, if there was a way to change a human into a youkai. With that in mind, he had gone to Bokusenou for answers.

His joy at Bokusenou's revelation was shortly lived however, as the question that had been bothering him for two long weeks afterward rose on the morn he saw Rin sleeping so peacefully. Was it right to change _anything_ about her?

The question hung in the air waiting to be answered, with an answer he knew he couldn't give. An answer he _wouldn't_ let himself give.

Below him, Sesshoumaru could hear the rustling of leaves indicating movement coming towards the cave. The muffled grumbling mingled with a low growl assured him that there was nothing to worry about. It was only Jaken returning with Ah-Un.

There were some times he could do without that underling of his, Sesshoumaru thought. He could get rather annoying. Jaken's loyalty to him impressed him though, and at first he let him follow him around for that reason alone. He would mistreat him at times for it didn't matter. Jaken would always stay with him no matter what he did.

Now, he seldom ever mistreated Jaken without a good reason. Rin would get upset if he did. He knew she'd grown attached to that little underling of his, and Jaken had done well protecting and caring for her whenever he couldn't. 

Sesshoumaru sighed inaudibly. Before Rin had come into his life, all he had focused on was power. Now that she was here, he found it stupid and meaningless. She threw him into dilemmas and made him question his own beliefs. She was in short, a nuisance.

_Yet without her… _

He couldn't bring himself to think of life without Rin. To go back to his endless lust for power seemed like such a dull notion compared to the image of her smiling prettily at him.

With his eyes closed, Sesshoumaru could just hear the soft sounds of her laughter in his mind. It was a strangely peaceful and calming sound that only Rin seemed capable of. He liked it.

Suddenly, an ear-piercing scream erupted from the cave, overwhelming all his thoughts as it tore through the quiet night air and brought his youkai senses to full alert.

_Rin!_

Sesshoumaru wasted no time. He jumped down the cliff, landing gracefully but hurriedly, and ran into the cave with his hand ready to draw his sword at the first sign of danger.

Surprisingly, there was none to be seen, he realised as he stopped.

The dying embers of the bonfire from hours ago dimly illuminated the cavern, casting soft shadows of the resident figures on the walls.

"Rin, doushita no desu ka?" came Jaken's anxious voice over the remaining echoes of Rin's terrified scream. [doushita no desu ka: what happened]

She was sitting bolt upright, clutching the fabric of her kimono tightly at her chest with a trembling hand. Her eyes were wide and glassy, unfocused, as if her mind was somewhere else. She was breathing heavily and her skin was covered with cold sweat.

Something's wrong, Sesshoumaru thought as he took a few steps towards her.

"Ah, Sesshoumaru-sama! You're back!" greeted Jaken when he felt his master's looming presence above him.

Rin seemed to snap back to attention when she heard his name, and she immediately turned to him. "Sesshoumaru-sama!" she cried, her eyes welling up with tears.

Sesshoumaru wasn't sure how to react. Rin rarely ever cried. If she did, it was out of sorrow for perhaps a dying animal or something along those lines. At those times, it was fine to leave her by herself. She would soon get over the loss and get up to follow him cheerfully again. This time it was different. He could sense the terror in her, and he could see the fear in her eyes. He could feel her desperation, her need for some sort of comfort. It tugged at his heart.

He walked up to her, stopping when he was just in front of her and looking down into her deep brown eyes. His stern expression conveyed to her the words that he refused to speak: _What's wrong?_

Rin looked right back up into his cold and unyielding eyes, a new fear forming in her already-disoriented mind. _Is he angry with me?_

_Of course he is!_ her conscience screamed at her. That's right, Rin managed to recall. _Sesshoumaru-sama doesn't like weak people._

_Be strong! You have to be strong!_ her conscience prodded her again.

She hurriedly wiped away her tears with the back of her sleeves, trying to undo the mistake as best she could. She had let herself cry out of fear.

Rin struggled to stop the onslaught of tears as she remembered her pledge to herself not to cry if ever she was scared. Crying and screaming were two different things. Screaming was an effective way of calling for help while crying wouldn't get her anywhere; it would only blur her vision and cause more problems. Crying was akin to defeat.

"D-daijoubu," she stammered out in a shaky voice after she tore her gaze away from his eyes. She stared at the ground, hoping she hadn't disappointed him too badly. [daijoubu: I'm fine]

 A moment ago, she was having the most horrifying nightmare she had ever experienced. When she was younger, she had these nightmares frequently. In them, she would relive the scene of her family's deaths repeatedly, and the helplessness of it all; that she couldn't save them even if she was spared. She cried out in her sleep not out of fear, but out of anguish as she tried to reach out to them.

She had had these dreams every night after her family was killed before her very eyes. After she met Sesshoumaru though, they occurred less and less, until they finally ceased altogether.

Tonight however, the dream returned. The thieves who raided her home and murdered her parents and brother in cold blood appeared in her mind, re-enacting the chilling scene as vividly as the day it happened. Just that this time, after they killed her family, they turned and charged at her with their swords drenched in the blood of her family members and their eyes gleaming with an evil aura. It was then that she screamed.

Rin sensed that Sesshoumaru was still staring at her, and she bit on her bottom lip apprehensively, waiting for what he had to say. That is of course, if he even had anything to say.

He didn't, as usual, Rin thought to herself as she watched his feet making a turn for the exit of the cave. Strangely, that action stung her. He was going to leave her again.

_No, please don't leave, Sesshoumaru-sama! _her heart seemed to cry out in vain. _Don't be silly!_ her conscience barked back at her. _Sesshoumaru-sama comes and goes whenever he likes. Why does he have to listen to you?_

Rin didn't know why it bothered her so much lately. Sesshoumaru would always leave her from time to time without explanation, save for the order to 'stay here.' Although she never liked being left behind, she obeyed him without complaint. She knew he would return for her.

However in the past few years, she would feel increasingly upset each time he left her in solitude, or when he left her with Jaken and Ah-Un. When he returned, her heart seemed to leap with joy in a different way from when she was younger.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," his name slipped from her lips involuntarily, as uncalled for and uncontrollable as a sneeze or a cough. Her eyes widened in shock at her own boldness, and she took a sharp intake of breath as she watched his feet stop at the cavern opening.

After a short pause, she heard his deep and commanding voice. "Nande?" [nande: what is it]

Rin tried to ignore the pounding of her heart at his simple question. What is it? What was it that she wanted? She struggled to gather her scattered thoughts despite the headiness she was feeling. Sesshoumaru didn't like to wait for answers, that she knew. But try as she might, she couldn't form the words.

"If there is nothing you want to say, I will be going now."

_No! _she panicked as she watched his feet taking another step away. Her heart raced and her head throbbed painfully as she finally blurted out in desperation, "P-please stay with m-me!"

Rin gasped as her hand flew to her mouth. _What have I said?_

He stopped.

"Rin! Ahou! How dare you order Sesshoumaru-sama around?" Jaken said, equally shocked at her impulsive request. [ahou: fool/stupid person]

At Jaken's rebuke, Rin's immediate response was to try and correct herself. "I meant… Rin meant," she stuttered, trying to remember her manners, "Sesshoumaru-sama, please stay with Rin… onegai shimasu!" [onegai shimasu: please — used when making a request]

Still looking at the ground and Sesshoumaru's moon-cast shadow, Rin could almost sense his hesitation. She was getting terribly dizzy with her desire for him to stay. She shut her eyes, knowing in her heart that he probably wouldn't, and she was unwilling to watch his shadow disappear with his departure. She was starting to feel the same old sickening feeling of disappointment that tore at her heart when she heard the sounds of his footsteps continuing their journey.

"Areh? Sesshoumaru-sama?" she heard Jaken say. _He's going again… _[areh: sound of surprise/bewilderment]

The feeling of somebody taking a seat next to her caught Rin by surprise. She reopened her eyes.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin exclaimed in delight. There he was, sitting beside where she was and looking at her with a face devoid of emotion. But Rin was too overjoyed to care if he was frowning or smiling (which he almost never did anyway). He had actually _listened _to her request! That knowledge alone was making her heart flutter, and she smiled brightly.

"Rin, you should sleep if you are tired," Sesshoumaru said.

"Hai!" Rin obeyed him instantly. So overjoyed was she that even her headache seemed to have left her, and she lay back down by his side. With a smile still on her face, she unwittingly took the end of his fur pelt in her hand again as she drifted off to sleep.

Once more, Sesshoumaru had the opportunity to gaze on Rin's angelic face. This time, he had to resist the temptation to. Jaken was still around.

"Anou Sesshoumaru-sama," Jaken tried to inquire cautiously, "Why did Sesshoumaru-sama listen to Rin?"

_Why indeed._ He didn't bother answering the question, but it was hammering inside his head. _Why? Why even pay attention to this human girl?_ He narrowed his eyes in deep thought, and Jaken immediately took the signal and backed off.

Long minutes later, when all was finally peaceful again (save for Jaken's noisy snoring), Sesshoumaru was still wide-awake. He didn't need to sleep like any weaker youkai or human, or even hanyous. So long as he relaxed or if he wasn't moving, it was his body's form of rest and recuperation. Sleep was more like a way for him to pass time quickly.

It was safe now, he knew. So long as he was close by Rin's side, any approaching youkai would pick up his scent before hers. Any creature who didn't heed his warning presence was a dead fool. As such, it was fine for him to sleep now if he wanted — just to kill time.

Ironically, it was just the thing that he couldn't do. While he was on guard for her, he couldn't afford to sleep lest she be sneaked up on. But the reason he kept himself at bay from her was because…

Sesshoumaru was reluctant to answer that question too. All he would admit to himself now was that he knew his limits, and he wasn't interested in pushing them.

Tonight however, Rin had just done that. And, he had _allowed _her to.

Looking down at the raven-haired beauty resting beside him, he recalled her innocent request.

_"Sesshoumaru-sama, please stay with Rin."_

He clenched his fist. Why did she want him with her? Did she not know after all these years that he was a full youkai with the ability to kill her in a single slash? Judging from her peaceful expression now that he was beside her as she slept, obviously she didn't.

What exactly did she see in him, Sesshoumaru wondered._ If she's aware that I'm a youkai, she doesn't appear afraid. Yet she also knows I'm not a human._

Rin moved in her sleep, sending a lock of hair tumbling over the side of her face. She had just rolled closer to him.

Sesshoumaru's sensitive nose could pick up the full blast of her heated scent, now that she was almost touching him. It was the same when he carried her. He felt uneasy, yet strongly attracted to her at the same time. He had tried to avoid it in any way he could, but somehow he stayed tonight with her simple request. It was, he realised, the only thing she had ever asked of him in all these years.

Stretching his arm out to her, he felt the same urge taking over him again — the urge to wrap his arm around her and draw her up close against him. _No,_ he fought himself. His hand ended up hovering above her instead.

He watched her in silence and concentration, his expression grim. Then, slowly, and ever so cautiously, he lowered his hand to her. Gently with the touch of a butterfly's wing, he pushed the stray lock of hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear.

Only then did he pause in alarm, his hand frozen in its position. Rin's skin was burning to the touch. Even if he had never touched a human in such a way before (the only other form of contact he did involved killing), he knew this wasn't normal.

In that instant, his mind filled with a million questions and his pulse doubled. _This feeling… I've only experienced it at one other time._ The image of a transformed Inuyasha was brought to mind. He had recognised the same feeling Rin had in her eyes when he entered the cave earlier.

Sesshoumaru was frightened.

---------------

Author's Notes: Loooong chapter ^^6 The longest so far. I'm hoping you guys don't find it too long or draggy? ^^6 I'm trying hard to analyse Sesshoumaru's character (and believe me, it is NOT easy). There will be other chapters like this too… highly in detail of Sesshoumaru's opinions and feelings. The story would seem shallow and incomplete without such detail, to me that is.

The last two paragraphs of this chapter will only have its maximum impact if you have seen episode 45 of Inuyasha. That was when Inuyasha transformed into a full youkai in front of Sesshoumaru. This shocked Sesshoumaru and he was actually thinking to himself later that Inuyasha had frightened him for that instant. As we all know, Sesshoumaru doesn't get scared easily. Shocked a couple of times yes, but definitely not frightened, save for the time Inuyasha transformed (which I think is the only time in the whole series that he was frightened-surprised, not shocked-surprised ^^6).

I'm also trying to keep in mind that Sesshoumaru has only one arm, so some sentences might sound weird (ie: wrap his arm around her instead of _arms_).

I have it in mind that Sesshoumaru has never been in love before... as in real, genuine romantic love. This is why he is so confused, just as Rin probably appears childish because she is naïve and ignorant, and is also confused by her feelings for Sesshoumaru.

Well, that's all I have to say. Like it / hate it / think its far too long? Do review and tell me ^_^


	6. Chapter Five

Disclaimer: InuYasha is written by Rumiko Takahashi. I do not own anything mentioned in this fanfic besides the idea of the fanfic.

To Love A Human

Chapter Five

Time seemed to slow to a nerve-wrecking crawl as Sesshoumaru waited in the darkness. The night was dragging on as if reluctant to give itself up to the morning, and Sesshoumaru sat, tight-lipped, almost wishing that the turning of the days followed his orders.

There were so many questions buzzing in his head. Some couldn't be answered yet, and some could be answered as soon as it became day. Day was when humans roused; day was when they became active once again, and if they didn't, that would only mean something was wrong. Not that he had a doubt that something was already wrong with Rin… or did he?

In truth, Sesshoumaru was hoping that somehow, someway, his contact with Rin was just a misunderstanding on his part, that the burning surface he had touched was just temporary, or perhaps an illusion — that Rin was all right_._

For that reason, he would need confirmation. If Rin was fine by morning, it would mean that it was just a passing phase, and that there was nothing to concern himself over.

However the other side of Sesshoumaru that wasn't in denial knew that he should be doing something already before her condition worsened. He should probably be taking her to where she could receive proper help — back to her kind. Unlike humans, youkai were not subject to illnesses of any sort. He wouldn't know the first thing there was about how to treat a simple thing like a cough or a cold. It never affected him, and thus he didn't see the need to look into this extra weakness of humans. But there was a need to now.

Rin had never fallen seriously ill before throughout the whole time she was with him. As he always avoided villages unless it was absolutely necessary, Rin wasn't exposed to diseases. And whenever Sesshoumaru had to go to places where he knew it was dangerous for a human, he would leave her behind so as not to put her at risk. Therefore, Rin had always been in good health for as long as Sesshoumaru could remember.

He looked down at her sleeping form beside him and felt another pang of guilt. Rin would never tell him if anything was wrong, be it if she was injured or if she wasn't feeling well. She would always hide it behind a seemingly cheerful demeanour. Perhaps if he hadn't been so caught up with himself, he could have sensed that something was amidst earlier on and prevented her condition from deteriorating to such a level. The fact that she was probably already ill and yet still let him push her until she passed out kept biting at his conscience. 

For the first time in his life, he regretted that his pride had stood in his way many times, making him act in an inconsiderate and heartless manner.

Sesshoumaru had initially thought of waking Rin, just to see if she was fine, and also to get rid of his guilty conscience. It was a new feeling to him — guilt, and he sure as hell didn't like it at all.

On the other hand, he knew that she needed to rest, and nighttime was reserved for humans to do so, especially if she was sick. He didn't want to wake her unnecessarily, lest it really did turn out to be just a misinterpretation of his senses.

He laughed inwardly, the action tinged with bitterness at that. Unbeknownst to her, Rin had just unwittingly thrown him into yet another dilemma. She really seemed to be generating a habit of doing that. If he woke her now and took her to a village where she could receive treatment as fast as possible, he might be preventing more damage to her body. However if he woke her and took her to a village only to find that there was nothing wrong, he would be exhausting her further.

The tug-of-war went on in his mind, until he finally decided to take the seemingly easy way out and wait till daytime to see if she was really ill. The only setback was that time seemed to be passing excruciatingly slowly now as he waited for the sun to rise.

Restlessness was stirring in his blood as Sesshoumaru turned his head away from Rin and stared straight ahead at the opposite wall of the cave. He frowned and stood up, deciding to make better use of the ample time. The longer he stayed beside Rin, the stronger he felt the temptation to shake her awake and demand that she tell him she was all right.

Anxiety was not something Sesshoumaru was accustomed to either.

When he stepped out of the cave and into the open, Sesshoumaru inhaled the damp air of the early morning, checking again for any foreign youkai scent. He would need to be on guard once more, now that he had chosen to leave Rin's side. Thankfully, there was none he could detect.

Walking away from the cave in a bid to dispense with his growing restiveness, he thought of an idea. He could use this time to find some food for Rin, so that she wouldn't need to waste time and energy looking for some when she woke up.

He was hesitant to carry out this task though, as he had never done such favours before for anyone, much less for a human. He was more inclined to make Jaken do the work for him, if any. 

If Rin needed new clothing, he would send her to a village with Jaken. If Rin needed to eat or rest, he would stop their journey. But never in all this time did he attend to her needs _directly_. If Rin needed new clothing, he didn't go into the village to get it for her, and if it was food, he didn't go out to fetch it for her. If it was rest she required, he didn't lay out a futon for her. There had always been a certain limit to what he allowed himself to do in accordance to her human needs. To do something so directly for her would suggest a personal bond, or imply that she held equal status. He couldn't allow that. And yet, as he stood there under the moonlight, fully aware of his self-implemented restrictions, he felt the familiar and insistent urge to do it for her.

For_ Rin._

She wasn't just any normal human being. She was the only being who was able to worm her way into his stone-cold heart somehow. Sesshoumaru didn't care about humans in general. He had killed so many on occasion for the tiniest reasons. Their lives didn't matter.

_Rin's does._

He thought about how he would react if she got hurt. He definitely didn't like the idea, he thought, frowning. His thoughts then shifted to how he would react if she got hurt because of _him._

Just thinking about it was unbearable.

Without further hesitation, he walked into the forest, his mind set on finding something of edible nature for Rin. He knew that if he let himself deliberate more on the situation, his pride would surely step in and override everything else — like it always did.

Sunlight was streaming into the cave when Rin finally roused from her peaceful slumber. She yawned and stretched, but she didn't feel refreshed at all. Usually she would after a full night's rest. Instead, her head was still heavy and her breath was hot. Her body felt sore and she was generally feeling lethargic.

Disappointed that she wasn't feeling any better than yesterday, she dropped her gaze to the cave floor. And then, she noticed it.

Spread out before her was a huge leaf, and on it was a pile of mushrooms. Rin blinked in disbelief, trying to place her finger on a scene familiar to this one. She had seen it before somewhere for sure, she thought.

She finally remembered.

When she had first met Sesshoumaru, back when he was too injured to move, she had offered him food in the same manner; spread out on a big leaf.

_Could Sesshoumaru-sama have done this… for me?_ Rin thought to herself in honest surprise at the unusual gesture of kindness. It seemed highly unlikely that Sesshoumaru would have done such a thing, and so Rin chided herself for her impulsive assumption. 

_Maybe Jaken-sama did it for me_. She glanced around and immediately caught sight of Jaken — still in dreamland. His snoring gave him away actually, but Rin just wanted to make sure.

_Ah-Un… perhaps? _She tried to think of all the other options since she was almost certain that Sesshoumaru would never do such a thing for her. However it was also impossible for Ah-Un to perform such a task, unless he had set the leaf down first, then gone back and forth collecting the mushrooms. Besides, the two-headed dragon was still fast asleep nearby.

Rin blushed with realisation of the obvious. She looked down again at the simple but meaningful serving of food before her, and felt her heart start to flutter like the night before. She should thank him, Rin thought to herself as she struggled to stand. _But where is Sesshoumaru-sama?_

She looked around her, scanning every nook and corner of the cavern as well as she could, but it was apparent that the white-haired youkai lord was not there. Her heart sank. Had he gone without her again? Rin felt a stab of pain at the thought.

Kneeling next to Jaken, she tried to gently shake him awake. "Jaken-sama, please wake up," she said to him, hoping her words did not fall on deaf ears. To her relief, they didn't. Jaken made a tiny snort then blinked a couple of times before he was fully awake.

He sat up and turned to face her. "Ah, ohayo Rin." [ohayo: good morning]

"Ohayo, Jaken-sama," Rin greeted in reply, then added with a look of concern on her face, "where did Sesshoumaru-sama go?"

"Sesshoumaru-sama? Hmm… I don't recall him saying anything about leaving."

"You mean, Sesshoumaru-sama didn't tell Jaken-sama where he went?"

"Iie," Jaken said. "Is there something wrong, Rin?" [iie: no]

Rin shook her head but said dolefully, "Rin just wants to thank Sesshoumaru-sama for the food and for staying with her last night."

"Areh? Food?" [areh: sound of surprise/bewilderment]

"Hai, over there," Rin pointed while getting up. Perhaps he was outside waiting for them, she thought hopefully as she hurriedly made her way out of the cave, leaving behind a very much astonished Jaken staring in disbelief as the little mound of mushrooms, his mouth wide open.

Once she was out of the cave, Rin had to squint in order to see under the bright sunlight. Her effort paid off nonetheless, as she made out the form of a man with long flowing hair some distance away, walking back towards the cave.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" she called out happily, running forward to greet him. Wherever it was that he had gone, he had returned in time when she woke up. The thought sent her spirits soaring again.

He stopped walking and stared at her. Rin too, stopped when he did, leaving a significant gap between them. She watched him, as he watched her, an uncomfortable silence building up between them.

"Okaeri nasai, Sesshoumaru-sama," Rin finally managed to say, giving him a whole-hearted smile. There was something different about the way he was looking at her, and Rin was feeling increasingly uneasy. She felt as though he was scrutinising her from head to toe. [okaeri nasai: welcome back]

She dropped her gaze to the ground when he still didn't respond. She could never look directly into his piercing amber eyes for long. It felt wrong to after a certain period of time, as if she was challenging him in a way, and she definitely didn't mean to. She would give up and obey him all the time.

"Anou…" she began, attempting to break through the strange and hanging silence in the air. She was suddenly feeling very shy, and the shyness increased in intensity with each passing moment he stared at her with his usual impassive expression, not giving away any clue as to why he was looking at her that way. [anou: um/uh/er]

"Anou," she tried again, shifting her feet slightly as she remembered what it was she wanted to tell him. With her eyes still glued to the ground and her heart pounding within her chest, she said humbly, "Arigatou… Sesshoumaru-sama." [arigatou: thank you]

Just when she wasn't expecting him to reply, he spoke. "Have you eaten?"

Rin lifted her head to look at him when she answered with a smile, "Not yet." He wasn't staring at her anymore, but had continued walking instead. Rin waited until he had walked past her, then turned around to follow him in her usual cheerful manner.

She followed him until they reached the cave entrance where he stopped and angled his head slightly back to her. "Rin, eat quickly and freshen yourself up at the stream. We're leaving after that."

"Hai!" Rin replied happily, going back into the cave with her eagerness to please Sesshoumaru.

Even though she wasn't exactly hungry, Rin ate all the mushrooms he brought for her; save for the ones she offered Jaken and Ah-Un. She was so delighted and in high spirits that she almost felt like her 'genki' self. Wasting no time after she finished, Rin headed down to the stream to wash her hands and face. Her skin felt strangely warm to the touch, but she didn't think too much about it. After all, it could be because of the excitement she was feeling about Sesshoumaru. [genki: healthy; energetic]

_Sesshoumaru-sama,_ she thought to herself with a smile. How she loved just being around him. She was happy just being able to follow him wherever he went. He didn't need to speak to her or to show her affection in the way her family used to. She was happy just to be with him, which would explain why his extra and unusual gesture of kindness this morning and the way he listened to her the night before was making her so elated.

Rin ran back to the cave, not wanting to let Sesshoumaru wait unnecessarily for her. They were all set and ready to leave, with Jaken holding the reins of Ah-Un and trying to carry what appeared to be a one-sided conversation with Sesshoumaru.

"I'm back!" Rin announced, slightly panting after her run.

"Rin!" said Jaken in his typical tone of rebuke. "Don't take so long to get ready next time. You made Sesshoumaru-sama wait again!"

"Hai," Rin said ruefully, before turning to Sesshoumaru. "Rin is sorry for making you wait. Please forgive Rin."

Sesshoumaru merely gave her a side-glance and said coolly, "You will ride on Ah-Un today. Don't walk." With that, he started out front while Rin immediately went to saddle Ah-Un.

A short moment later, Jaken interrupted the silence in the procession by asking, "Sesshoumaru-sama, where are we going today?"

No answer.

"Anou… Sesshoumaru-sama?"

And still no response.

Jaken eventually gave up, but Rin was curious to know where they were heading to in such a hurry as well. Sesshoumaru almost never told her to do anything quickly. She decided to try her luck.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, where are we going?"

There was a pause, filled with just the sound of footsteps and the pounding of earth as Ah-Un walked, when Sesshoumaru finally answered, "We are going to a human village."

---------------

Author's Notes: Hmm… I don't really know what to say about this chapter. I don't think I did very well on it.

In response to a review about the Japanese translations… I'm sorry but I'm going to leave it as it is. In my other fanfic, the translations are at the bottom, but my friends complained of having to scroll up and down and getting themselves lost in the process, and they felt it better once I changed it to this. My condolences too, to those who haven't had the chance to appreciate the anime in its original Japanese form. The reason why I keep putting in Japanese is because I can just hear the characters saying those words, but I can't imagine them using pure English to replace them all. For this, I apologise, but I'm going to keep it this way nevertheless.

A big thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter ^_^ chapter four received an astonishing 15 reviews, and I'm very pleased and flattered by your comments! Do continue to give me your much appreciated feedback, and I will try to write up to your expectations as much as possible XD once again, arigatou!


	7. Chapter Six

Disclaimer: InuYasha is written by Rumiko Takahashi. I do not own anything mentioned in this fanfic besides the idea of the fanfic.

To Love A Human

Chapter Six

"Areh? A human village you say, Sesshoumaru-sama?" Jaken asked in astonishment.

"Is there a need for me to repeat myself?" came the deep and calm voice from ahead.

"D-d-demo Sesshoumaru-sama, why are we going to a human village?" Jaken pressed on. "Sesshoumaru-sama?" he tried again when Sesshoumaru showed no interest in answering. [demo: but]

Rin listened in surprise. It was rare that Sesshoumaru ever took her to a human village, and her curiosity about them was never quite satisfied. Although she did have a number of bad memories from the time she was abused as a child by the villages where she used to stay, those memories had faded with time, to be replaced by happy memories of travelling with Sesshoumaru. As the years passed, even if she was sure her life would always be pledged to following Sesshoumaru, she would still wonder sometimes what life would be like for her if she had never lost her family. Some of the residents in the villages they dropped by were very kind, and Rin had enjoyed herself immensely.

_Didn't we stop by a village just a few days ago?_ Now Rin was getting puzzled. Sesshoumaru had never let her go to villages on such short intervals before. She then remembered the mess she made of herself the day before.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, are we going to get a new kimono for Rin?" she asked, already feeling bad for troubling him even before he gave any answers.

As usual, Sesshoumaru remained silent, leaving Rin to conclude on her own misconceptions. He didn't mean to, but he wasn't about to let Jaken in on his motives either. He saw no reason why he should be obliged to share his thoughts with a youkai of a much lower status than him. That and, he wasn't ready to face all the questions Jaken would surely sprout if he explained to him.

Rin was definitely sick. It was written all over her, even with her effort to hide it from him, or that perhaps she wasn't aware of it herself. 

Instead of idling away the rest of the early morning, waiting for her to rouse, Sesshoumaru had ventured further down to gauge how far away the next village was, in case Rin was not better by morning. And as it turned out, she wasn't.

He had to spend a few minutes staring at her earlier on before they left just to analyse her condition. It wasn't easy seeing through someone who always acted perfectly fine and happy, even when they weren't. He could tell from her flushed face that she was probably still burning up with something, and her eyes appeared to be a little heavier than usual. Reluctant as he was, he would have to take her to the next village.

Behind him, Sesshoumaru could hear Rin chirpily trying to fill the empty silence that existed whenever they were travelling by talking to the grumpy-as-always Jaken. He liked listening to the sound of her voice, Sesshoumaru realised. It would seem weird now if Rin never spoke a word while they walked.

As the hours passed, Rin gradually grew quieter. At first, it was just her voice that toned down a bit. Then, she spoke less. A while later, she stopped talking completely. Sesshoumaru found this odd, but he decided that it was caused by her ill health. He was about to turn round to check if everything was all right when he caught the foul scent of a youkai close by. He scowled and stopped.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, is something wrong?" asked Jaken.

"It seems we have a visitor." No sooner had he spoke when in a flash there was a grotesque-looking ogre standing a few feet in front of him, a sinister grin stretched across his face.

"Hand over that female youkai you have with you," he snarled, arrogance evident in his voice, "or you will all die by my hand."

With an attitude of absolute boredom, Sesshoumaru remarked nonchalantly, "You shouldn't waste my time with such empty threats."

"Oh but I will," sneered the ogre, apparently not taking the hint. "I want that female," he growled while his licked his lips, "and it seems she wants me too. Her scent was calling out to me, and I've come to claim her."

"Wanting you," Sesshoumaru said, his tone fast degenerating to disgust, "would be the last thing she desires," he continued as he drew out Toukijin, "considering how low and filthy you are."

"Low and filthy?" the ogre yelled in offence. "I'll make sure you never dare to call me that again!" he growled before arching back and tilting his head upwards, issuing a huge bellow that rang for miles in the forest.

"Jaken."

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"Get Rin away from here."

"Hai! Right this instant!" Jaken responded, taking the reins of Ah-Un and hastily leading the dragon away. Speed was against them though, as being in the heart of the forest, there were far too many trees for Ah-Un to fly safely, and they had to run instead.

Sesshoumaru wasn't just trying to make sure Rin was safe; he also didn't want her to witness the gore of the fight that was about to take place, nor did he want her to know that it was taking place _because_ of her.

There was already a swarm of ogre youkai gathering behind their leader, and even if it was a piece of cake to exterminate them for him, Sesshoumaru knew the trees would prove to be a hindrance. He couldn't kill them all in one slash and make it nice and clean. No, things were going to get a little messy. Nothing that he couldn't handle though, Sesshoumaru thought to himself as he looked upon the loathsome crowd that gathered before him, challenging him with guttural snarls and swipes at the unoffending air, just for the sake of letting their disgusting leader mate with Rin. The idea alone was so repulsive that Sesshoumaru had to restrain the urge to transform and take care of them in a brutal but effective way.

After checking behind him to make sure Rin was at bay before he attacked, Sesshoumaru returned his attention to the ugly ogre leader, who was currently looking very smug about having his comrades with him. The ogre leader had initially assumed that he could take care of Sesshoumaru himself, but had decided to call on his gang just to put up an impressive front. They were also there to make sure that his opponent was torn to shreds for the crime of opposing him.

"There's no use trying to hide her, you fool," the ogre leader laughed. "I will be getting her after I finish you. There is nowhere she can hide."

"Are you as stupid as you are ugly?" Sesshoumaru mocked with dull concern. "I can assure you that not one of your pathetic little regiment will be left after I'm done with you."

"Hah! We'll just see about that!" said the lead ogre as he, along with the rest of his group, charged forward at Sesshoumaru.

Leaping above them with seemingly effortless grace, and with a dangerously glowing Toukijin in hand, Sesshoumaru slashed down at the charging youkai with such force that their bodies disintegrated in a blinding flash. The bases of the trees in the area were also affected, rotting away like the youkai bodies into nothingness and sending the towering timbers crashing down deafeningly. Only the birds were left circling overhead in the aftermath, squawking with the lost of their homes.

Sesshoumaru landed soundlessly, looking at what remained of the foliage that grew there and thinking about what had just happened. A group of youkai had come together in order to claim right to one human girl, who, unfortunately for her, smelt like a female youkai in heat to them.

A group_._ It wasn't just one perverted youkai. It was a _group_.

It seemed as though Rin was getting more attention as she matured, and Sesshoumaru was far from pleased with that realisation. Turning around, he walked back, following in the direction of Rin's lingering scent.

"Rin!" he heard Jaken calling in the distance. "Meh ga samase!" [translation: wake up]

Sesshoumaru tensed. Was something wrong? Did he unknowingly let one of the ogres slip pass him? More importantly, was Rin all right? He would never forgive himself if he let even one of those disgusting creatures lay a single finger on her.

He leapt into the air again, intending to reach Rin as soon as possible, in case she was being attacked by one of the ogres. He descended in the area where her scent was the strongest, half expecting to see Rin being assaulted. However there were no ogres to be seen, nor could he pick of the scent of them for miles.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Jaken exclaimed after noticing his master's return. "Rin won't wake up!"

Walking calmly over to the trio where Rin lay unconscious on the ground with Jaken and Ah-Un standing over her, Sesshoumaru asked Jaken if Rin was attacked.

"Iie, Sesshoumaru-sama. While we were walking here, Rin suddenly fell off Ah-Un, and she won't wake up," Jaken explained, after which he tried to shake Rin's shoulder as if to confirm what he said. Rin showed no sign of response.

Sesshoumaru's expression hardened as he looked at Rin. He knew that her condition had most probably worsened, and it would be foolish to continue their slow pace towards the village. Besides, she wouldn't be able to keep her balance on Ah-Un while unconscious. His list of options was slim, and Sesshoumaru knew that there was only one way out.

He knelt beside Rin and slipped his hand under her back to wrap his arm around her waist, and then hoisted her up on his right shoulder, holding onto her legs. It was a crude way of carrying her, he supposed, with her slung over his shoulder like some captive, but it would have to do for now as it was the best way he could hold her while travelling at a high speed.

There was only one thing he could do now; he had to take her to the village himself. He couldn't follow his original idea of letting her and Jaken go together anymore, since she was incapable, and probably too weak and sick to move herself. He frowned as he rose into the sky and sped off in a ball of light, with Jaken calling behind him to wait. Sesshoumaru didn't like the way things had turned out at all, but like it or not, he would have to enter the human village with Rin.

---------------

Author's Notes: Ahhh! I absolutely HATE this chapter! It's so darn crappy. Action is not my forte ¬_¬ and it shows. It's all choppy and crappy and... blah! I hate this chapter!

*sigh* Anyway, if you didn't manage to figure out exactly what was going on, my intention was for Rin to have fainted long before they were attacked, which was why she became silent, so to speak. I assume that Ah-Un most probably was aware of this and as such, was in no hurry to fly because that would result in Rin falling off. Well, that is for those of you who have seen Ah-Un and who might argue that 'he can fly!' cuz Ah-Un is pretty slow on foot.

For those of you who might question about Sesshoumaru's fur pelt getting in the way if he were to carry Rin on his right shoulder, lets just say she's _on_ the fur pelt XD comfy!

That's about all I have to say. Arigatou once again for the reviews, minna-san! They're greatly appreciated ^_^


	8. Chapter Seven

Disclaimer: InuYasha is written by Rumiko Takahashi. I do not own anything mentioned in this fanfic besides the idea of the fanfic.

To Love A Human

Chapter Seven

* * *

…

"… no doubt about it… has the disease."

"What? … so young… get here?"

"… Taiyoukai… outside…" (translation: powerful demon)

"Nani!" (translation: what?)

Rin awoke to the sounds of a man and a woman talking in hushed tones. She only caught bits and pieces of their conversation, but her mind was elsewhere. She blinked a few times and gazed ahead. A ceiling came into view.

_Koko wa doko?_ (translation: Where am I?)

She was lying on a futon and she had a damp towel draped over her forehead. The coolness of the towel was in stark contrast to the heat she felt under the covers of the futon. Her skin felt like it was burning, as if a thousand heated needles were pricking her all over. She winced as her body, just roused from slumber, became aware of the pain. Rin gasped as the pain took a firm grip on her delicate body and she called in a strained whisper for the only one on her mind.

"Sesshoumaru-sama…!" _Help me!_ She pleaded silently to herself.

"Oya, she's awake?" came the voice of the lady. (oya: "oh!"; an exclamatory interjection expressing surprise or joy)

Rin heard a scurry of footsteps and then she felt someone kneeling beside her futon and tending to her. The person took the towel from her forehead and rinsed it before replacing it.

"Quickly, give her the herbal tea."

"Hai!"

"Don't worry, my dear, everything will be all right," said the lady as she patted Rin's hand.

Her head was gently lifted and a bitter-tasting drink was administered to her from a shallow cup.

After she drank what she could, she was carefully set down again. Rin cracked open her eyes and struggled to focus on the person beside her. She could make out the face of middle-aged lady who at that moment, was looking down at her with kind and warm brown eyes. She had a pretty face that was framed by strands of her fringe. Her hair was tied up neatly and was greying at her temples.

Rin frowned and struggled to speak. "Who are you?" she asked weakly.

"My name is Oyasu," said the lady. "You're in the home of my husband and me." As if sensing the unspoken questions that Rin conveyed with her eyes, the lady continued, "The man who brought you here is out looking for herbs. Don't worry, he will be back soon."

When Rin looked visibly satisfied, Oyasu gently smoothed the covers of the futon over her and brushed the hair from her face. "You should rest more," she said.

Rin nodded faintly, feeling her body relaxing and the pain subsiding. She closed her eyes and drifted into unconsciousness again.

…

…

The sun was high in the sky and the crickets were chirping nearby. The water in the stream gurgled softly as it made its way down. Not too far away, Sesshoumaru was busy looking through the various different bushes for a particular herb. His mind was playing back what happened just hours before.

Even before he reached the village, he could detect the smell of death in the air. There was the smell of blood and rotting flesh. He frowned as he contemplated the wisdom of carrying on. But what choice did he have?

It took him no more than a minute or two to reach his destination. But the sight before him was far from encouraging. The village was a sad spectacle of a ghost town. The smell of rotting flesh was immense and Sesshoumaru covered his nose for a moment, frowning as he tried to think of what to do next.

At that moment, Sesshoumaru saw two men immerging from a hut, carrying a body on a stretcher. He took off and landed in front of them.

"Kisama, where is your doctor?" he said them, his tone impatient and intimidating. (kisama: a crude and very rude/degrading form of the word, 'you'.)

The two men stopped in their tracks, trembling as they recognised the being before them to be powerful youkai. The stretcher crashed to the ground, forgotten as they cowered before Sesshoumaru.

"Onegai, spare our lives!" they pleaded desperately. "The village doctors are dead," they said. "Everyone's been killed by the plague. We're just helping to bury the bodies. At least let us do that before we die too." (onegai: please)

Of course, this was not the kind of answer that Sesshoumaru expected.

"Is there no one here with medical abilities?" he demanded irritably.

The men trembled from his words before one of them spoke up. "There is a woman in the mountains not far from here," he said, pointing to the mountainous area in the distance. "Many people say she's a witch and does unspeakable things. But she may be able to help you."

…

It didn't take long for Sesshoumaru to find the house of this so-called "witch". It was a surprisingly pleasant looking hut with a garden of herbs just beside it.

"If there is anyone of medical knowledge residing here, come out and make yourself known, before this Sesshoumaru destroys this residence."

"Urusai dayo," said a woman's voice from inside the hut. "What do you want?" (urusai: noisy)

"There's a girl here who needs your attention immediately. She is very ill."

Sesshoumaru clenched his jaw, hoping that he would not need to resort to begging of any sort. He frowned and waited in silence, shifting Rin slightly on his shoulder and wrapping his arm around her in an instinctively protective gesture.

His expression eased when he saw a woman coming out from behind the bamboo-draped covering of the doorway. She looked nothing like a witch, in his opinion. She was dressed decently in a plain kimono and wore an apron. Her hair was tied back neatly and light was bouncing off the silver strands in her hair as she walked out to greet him.

She walked right up to him, oblivious of his presence or his youkai aura.

"This is the girl?" she asked, walking behind him and putting a hand to Rin's face. She drew back her hand in an instant, her face a mask of shock and worry. She then looked up at Sesshoumaru and said sternly, "Bring her inside, quickly." And then she turned around and hurried back to the hut.

Wordlessly, he followed her. She held open the doorway for him to pass through and instructed him where to lay Rin. She then wasted no time getting to work, getting water and clean towels.

"This girl is in critical condition," she said as she rinsed the towels and wiped Rin's face and arms.

"She has the disease that's been killing the villagers all around. They call it shounoki, the soul-eating disease," she explained, dabbing the towel on Rin's face.

"It only affects certain people and only those who have a strong will to live are able to survive. It starts out like a normal fever, but the temperature goes up beyond normal ranges. And that's only the beginning.

"The pain is unbearable and is said to be worse than death itself at the final stage. Many have pleaded for a quick death so that they wouldn't have to suffer so much. There is also no cure."

Sesshoumaru watched helplessly, the woman's words sinking into his brain like a hot poker on bared flesh.

_"There is no cure… the pain is unbearable… worse than death itself…"_

Rin stirred slightly in her sleep, making soft sounds of discomfort. The lady paused a while and sighed. "Such a pity. She's so young," she said to herself, shaking her head before getting up and starting a fire.

"Is there nothing you can do to save her?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"Didn't you hear me? I said that there's no cure. I make her a serum that might help her pull through, but it needs a lot of rare herbs.

"My husband will only be back in the evening so he'll only be able to look for them tomorrow and it may be too late by then. Other than that, I can only give her a special herbal tea to help ease the pain."

Sesshoumaru thought for a moment. There wasn't much he could do, except…

"Tell me what the herbs are. I will get them by nightfall."

The woman looked at him thoughtfully and Sesshoumaru felt as if he was being scrutinised from head to toe by those sharp, knowledgeable eyes of hers. He regarded her with his usual deadpan expression, his face revealing nothing. But she relented and took out a dried piece of animal skin and a writing brush.

While waiting, Sesshoumaru walked over to where Rin lay. Her gorgeous black hair splayed out over the pillow and her pale skin was covered with a light sheen of perspiration. She murmured quietly in her sleep, words that made his heart ache, "Sesshoumaru-sama, come back for Rin."

He knelt beside her, watching her agonised face and listening to the rhythmic beat of her heart, as if to assure himself that her life force was still strong.

"Here," said the woman, handing the parchment to Sesshoumaru as he rose to stand. "I've written for you a list of the herbs needed. There are seven that you must get and they won't be easy to find. But I trust you will be able to do it," she said.

With the parchment and his task at hand, Sesshoumaru proceeded out of the hut, but the woman chose that moment to announce her thoughts.

"You're a Taiyoukai, aren't you?" she said with her back towards him. He didn't answer and continued to walk instead.

"I'd ask what you're doing with a normal human girl, but I suppose it's none of my business."

He continued walking.

"Well, all I have to say is this. If this girl means anything to you, you'd better hurry," said Oyasu, but Sesshoumaru was already gone by the time she turned around.

…

And now he had just three more herbs to find. He gazed up towards the sky, estimating how much time he had left.

_Rin… wait for me._

…

…

It was just after sundown when Sesshoumaru appeared at the doorway of the hut, the seven herbs clutched in his hand. Oyasu immediately started preparing them, pounding them in a stone bowl.

"There's nothing else you can do but wait," she told Sesshoumaru. "It could be days before anything happens."

Sesshoumaru simply turned and walked out of the hut, finding a spot under a tree nearby to rest. Despite his outward display of the utmost calm and serenity, he was raging inside. Why was there nothing else that could help Rin? He demanded mentally, damning the lady even though he knew things might be much worse without her. He didn't even know who or what she was, but what did it matter? She was just a human. In this case, she was just a means to an end. He mentally deliberated what he would do if Rin didn't survive. Kill the lady? Probably. There would be no excuse for her inefficiency.

If only Rin was a youkai! Then she would not have to suffer from life-threatening illnesses like these. That thought alone made him more determined than ever to find this Buryusou. He gazed up into the night sky.

_But what if Rin doesn't make it?_

Admittedly, Sesshoumaru did not want to think along those lines. But he had to be prepared. He could use Tenseiga to raise her, couldn't he? He had resurrected her once before.

_"… it is a soul-eating disease…" _

Sesshoumaru remembered what the lady had said. And he knew, despite his adamant objections, that Tenseiga could not bring Rin back to life if she had no soul. Her body would be alive, but her soul would be lost forever. She would be just a mere shell of what she used to be.

The thought of never seeing her again, her adoring smiles and chirpy voice, or even her silly little songs, made his heart constrict. He felt an unfamiliar ache in his chest, a desperate need to do something, a frustration beyond understanding of how helpless he was to help Rin, no matter how strong or powerful he was.

…

"Excuse me, sir…?" came a male voice to his side. "I brought some food for you, in case you're hungry."

Sesshoumaru merely gave the man a side glance before answering, "I don't need it."

And the moment he spoke those words, Sesshoumaru was reminded of the time when he was gravely wounded and Rin, still unable to speak from her emotional trauma, tried to provide him with daily meals as best as she could.

"Souka," said the man. "Well I'll just eat my dinner here with you then, since my wife is busy tending to your girl. (souka: I see)

"She gets rather carried away with these things, my wife," explained the man as he dug into his meal.

Sesshoumaru had no interest whatsoever in carrying on any sort of conversation with a human. Especially not with a human who did not recognise his power.

"I heard from my wife that you're a Taiyoukai. How did you get here? And who's the girl?"

"It's none of your business."

The man looked uncertainly at Sesshoumaru for a moment, and then he said, "You must be really strong. But the way you're treating the girl gives me some feeling of safety, I suppose.

"In any case, I am Shimizu Shinkei and my wife is Oyasu. You must have heard from the villagers that she's some kind of witch, I presume?"

No answer.

"Well she's not actually a witch. I think you can tell by now," Shinkei rambled on. "It's just that her mother was a hanyou and was accused of using unnatural methods to heal people. She was driven into the mountains by the villagers.

"Her mother's long gone by now, but the rumours have lingered. Oyasu has learned a great many skills from her mother though. She's a talented healer and she helps whenever she can, but she can be rather cold sometimes due to the way the villagers treated her and her mother in the past."

Shinkei looked at Sesshoumaru, whose profile was illuminated by the moonlight.

"I guess you really detest talking to humans huh? Most powerful youkai are like that. I suppose that's why Oyasu adored her grandfather so much because he was kinder to them than humans were.

"Mah, I just thought you'd like to talk to get your mind off things. Gochisou-sama," said Shinkei, having finished his dinner. He stood up and walked back to the hut, carrying his plate with him. (gochisou-sama: an expression indicating that one has finished eating)

Sesshoumaru remained seated in silence long after Shinkei left, the food on the plate beside him getting cold.

A youkai treating humans with more kindness than other humans? The notion was absurd. And yet it was true. He wondered how that was possible.

_Chichiue… what did you see in InuYasha's mother?_ (chichiue: father)

And what did that man mean by, "get your mind off things"? Was Rin getting worse? But he had gotten the herbs needed to aid her recovery, hadn't he? Many hours had passed and Oyasu should have given her the serum by now. Sesshoumaru had a silent, desperate hope that it was working. He didn't want to imagine otherwise.

He stared fixedly ahead of him, his frown the only thing revealing the unaccustomed feeling of anxiety that he had.

_Rin… hang on… hang on for me._

* * *

Author's Notes: OMG I know it's been sooooo long since I've updated x.x;;; I am truly sorry about it. But I've finally found the inspiration and the drive to continue! And we are finally getting into the 'meat and potatoes' of things! Just a few more chapters till completion, I promise! 

Thank you all for your support. The continuous stream of reviews even after I stopped writing has been really touching. Some of your reviews were really meaningful and I felt happy that some of you understood the things I was trying to convey, even in my inadequacy.

This chapter was a little rushed. I came up with it in just a day and currently this is still the first draft. But I'm so eager to post it (in my guilt for abandoning my fanfic for so long ) that I will just edit it later.

Having stopped writing for a while (besides for research essays), my style might have changed a little. For this I am sorry. I don't know if it's for better or for worse, but I hope I am still able to maintain the standard of the story (no matter how pathetic romances are x.x). This chapter is more eventful than the others, thankfully. I mean, don't you get bored with too much of this erm… insights into Sesshy's thoughts? It's stressful to write too, yes XD I hope it doesn't sound too much like I'm just rushing through it. How's the pace? Good/bad? Do give me feedback on it.

I also felt that I made Sesshy a tad too erm… how to say… a bit too sensitive in my previous chapters. So I tried to amend that to suit his personality more in this one (it IS extremely hard to phantom what he's like under that cold, hard shell). But not to worry, he'll warm up soon enough :3

And I know I'm rambling, but here's some trivia for you. Oyasu's name was actually supposed to be Iyasu, which means healer. However I thought that Oyasu sounds better. Yasu means calm. Shinkei's name means God's grace. Shounoki doesn't have a meaning though :x I just came up with a name for the disease.


	9. Chapter Eight

Disclaimer: InuYasha is written by Rumiko Takahashi. I do not own anything mentioned in this fanfic besides the idea of the fanfic.

To Love A Human

Chapter Eight

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Three days. Three excruciatingly long days. Sesshoumaru could hardly contain himself anymore. His patience was wearing thin and he was growing increasingly irate with each passing hour. Neither one of the couple, Oyasu nor her husband, Shinkei, had spoken to him since the night he brought Rin to their abode. But from what he had been observing, things weren't going well. And Sesshoumaru was nearing the point where he could hardly restrain himself from killing them for their incompetence. 

_Three days! _And he hadn't been able to rest for even a second during that time.

Sesshoumaru grounded his teeth in frustration, but whether he liked it or not, the only thing he could do was to wait. He had been sitting on that same spot under the huge tree for most of the three days, venturing to the cliff end only on short intervals before returning to watch the hut with the utmost observance. He estimated that if Rin should recover, it would only take another few days across the mountainous plains to reach Buryuso. His goal was so close, yet so far.

The first day had gone well. He had watched with lighter spirits as Oyasu and Shinkei scurried about with their daily routines, as well as tending to Rin. His keen sense of hearing enabled him to listen in on their conversations. Oyasu told Shinkei that Rin broke through the fever and that she looked like she would regain her health in no time. They had gone about with relieved smiles for the rest of the day.

But towards the end of the first day, something changed.

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes as he recalled the terrifying scream that pierced through the quiet night air.

The little hut became a buzz of activities after that. The lamps were lit and the windows and doorway glowed with their flickering shadows. Oyasu and Shinkei were exchanging hurried words with each other – words that didn't sound at all positive.

He could hear Rin calling his name softly; weakly, followed by more commotion from Oyasu and Shinkei. Apparently they were discussing whether they should call him in or not. When Shinkei glanced out the doorway to look for Sesshoumaru though, Sesshoumaru had simply looked away, as if not caring. He was determined not to give himself away.

"We'll call him if it gets serious then," said Oyasu quietly after Shinkei spoke with her. "The girl still has some fight in her left."

That last line was what Sesshoumaru forced himself to focus on despite everything else that he heard.

Time dragged on with an effect of sharpened nails on a smooth surface for the next two days. Each time Rin cried out, Sesshoumaru felt a chill in his blood. Each time, he strained his ears to listen for any hopeful diagnosis from the couple. Each time, he heard the laboured breaths Rin drew and her pleas for him.

Rin was weakening, this he knew. He didn't even want to think about the implications of that fact. His heart was in adamant denial. To sit there for days, unable to do anything while Rin was in agony, felt worse than torture. He had never known anything quite like it before. He had to draw his thoughts away, he decided.

He ventured deep into the woods, far enough from the hut so that he could no longer pick up Rin's scent nor hear her pitiful screams; far away from everything. There, he unleashed all the pent up frustration of the past few days.

He slashed viciously at the forest life there – the trees, flowers, critters, youkai – nothing was spared. As if in a duel with some unknown, formidable enemy, he attacked with all the seamless accuracy and lethality of a full inu-youkai. All his senses concentrated on his technique, like in the days when his father was training him. Anyone would have been in awe of his power, or the imperial grace with which he carried himself, or even the way his robes glided as he darted each and every way, had they been there to witness it. (inu-youkai: dog demon)

The ground beneath him shook as the trees fell one by one, but he couldn't care less for any of it. His face was a perfect mask of impassiveness as he gazed on at the field of destruction he created.

-

-

It was well after sunset when Sesshoumaru returned. He looked as fresh as when he had set out. Not a strand of his white hair was out of place, not a single fold of his robes was out of alignment. The only thing that was at unrest was his mind.

As the view of this hut gradually appeared before him in the distance, he noticed something that made him stop on his tracks. Waiting outside of the hut was someone.

_Shinkei?_

Sesshoumaru's expression turned grim as he continued walking, trying to ignore the cold numbness spreading through his veins.

_What happened to Rin?_

Had she died? Sesshoumaru thought with sickening dread. He wasn't sure if he wanted to find out. Either way, Shinkei had something urgent to tell him. The man was looking in every direction, no doubt trying to find him. The moment he did, he hurried over and stopped at a respectable distance from him.

As Sesshoumaru stopped to acknowledge him, Shinkei bowed deeply and did not raise his head as he spoke.

"Sesshoumaru-sama… my wife has asked me to speak to you. We would like to request that you spend some time with the girl whom you have entrusted in our care. We're sorry to say that she – " Shinkei could only gasp out the rest of his words.

Sesshoumaru had listened to a point where he knew he did _not_ want to hear anymore. His nerves had been pushed to the edge over the past few days and it was the last straw. His composure snapped and in the blink of an eye between Shinkei's words, he darted forward and grabbed the man by his throat with a vice-like grip.

Lifted high off the ground, Shinkei choked and struggled, trying to free himself. He tried to speak, words that Sesshoumaru already knew he was trying to say.

"Ma – … te…" (matte: wait)

But Sesshoumaru only tightened his hold on him, his rage at breaking point. His eyes were blazing amber as he glared furiously at the incompetent and utterly _useless_ human being in his clutches.

"What did you say?" Sesshoumaru demanded dangerously, as if challenging Shinkei to tell him the truth of the matter.

He had let them take care of Rin.

He had entrusted them with her health.

And they had let her die.

They had _let Rin die_.

He narrowed his eyes in anger as he held the man captive, deadly acid threatening to seep out from his hand.

"Yamete!" cried a woman's voice in the distance. Oyasu was running towards them, desperate to stop what was about to happen. (yamete: stop)

"Yamete kudasai!" she said, falling to her knees before the dangerously glowing white-haired youkai lord and begging him with clasped hands. "It was my fault. Please, let him go!"

But Sesshoumaru would not be fazed. He had already planned to take care of the woman after he was done with her husband.

"Onegai! Blame me if you want but let my husband go! He is innocent. He has only been trying to help!" (onegai: please)

Shinkei's strugglesgrew more frantic as he was suffocating. And still, Sesshoumaru held him firmly. His fingers only tightened around the man's neck with each plea from Oyasu.

"Shinkei!"

-

And suddenly, amidst the noise that surrounded him, he heard it. It was a soft and very faint sound, but it was there.

Rin was calling for him.

Rin was _alive_!

Sesshoumaru was thrown off. The deadly aura dispelled from around him and he released Shinkei, dropping him in a heap on the ground.

"Tell me what is going on," he demanded.

Oyasu rushed to her unconscious husband. If Sesshoumaru had held on any longer, he would most certainly have died.

"It's my fault," said Oyasu, cradling Shinkei, tears of relief springing from her eyes when she found that Shinkei was still breathing. "I gave her the herbal tea that acted like a sedative," she explained.

"Sedative?"

"Hai, to ease her of the pain. It put her to sleep at the same time. The serum which you collected the herbs for was meant to help strengthen her soul."

"And then what happened?"

"We didn't expect it to turn out this way. When the serum strengthened her soul, it heightened her thoughts and emotions. We thought she was getting better, but she suddenly took a turn for the worse. I suspect that she's trapped in some sort of nightmare and it's making her lose the will to live.

"There's nothing else we can do for her. We thought that maybe if you stayed by her, she might get better again. If not… I'm afraid that…" Oyasu couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. "She's very weak now," she said softly instead. "And she keeps calling your name in her sleep."

Without a word, Sesshoumaru began walking towards the hut. Oyasu stared after him as he quietly lifted the bamboo sheet from the doorway and disappeared inside. But her thoughts soon returned to Shinkei and she hugged him tightly, knowing that their lives had been narrowly spared.

-

Inside, Sesshoumaru stood silently, his eyes fixed on the place where Rin lay. When he had heard her calling his name earlier on, he almost felt as if his heart had stopped for that split second. The gravity of his actions weighed down on him and he knew then that his life would never be the same again without Rin by his side.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," Rin murmured again in her sleep, her face contorted with discomfort.

He walked over to her futon and knelt beside her. He could hear her shallow breaths and the weakening pulse of her heart. He could see the dried stream of tears at the corners of her eyes. Her skin had become deathly pale and her hair had lost its lustrous shine.

Yet even as she laid there, a pathetic display of death and disease, she looked more beautiful to Sesshoumaru than ever. How he longed to see those bright eyes of hers open once more to look up at him adoringly.

No longer self-conscious of his actions, Sesshoumaru reached out to her and gently cupped her cheek with his hand. The same hand that had but not a moment ago displayed violent brutality now caressed the flesh of a human ever so tenderly.

"Rin, I am here," he said softly to her.

She stirred very slightly, but otherwise showed no reaction that acknowledged his presence.

"You probably can't even hear me," he continued after watching her for a moment. Her cheek felt chilled to him and he drew his hand away to pull the covers up on her a little more.

Perhaps if he had put aside his pride for just a while and stayed with her while she battled her illness, she would not have deteriorated into such a condition, Sesshoumaru thought solemnly. Knowing Rin, just one gesture or word from him was the determining factor to her spirits. Could it be that if he had just been here beside her instead of stubbornly and distantly outside, she would be better?

Sesshoumaru didn't know the answers, but he was well aware of the acid regret that shot through him. There was much that Rin had yet to understand about him and her place with him. Just as there was much that he needed to understand about her importance to him. But he never desired to tell her anything because he could not stand bringing himself down to a level where he felt obliged to anyone.

And now, he wondered if any of it mattered. Even with all the supreme powers and prestige he inherited from his father, he could not save the life of one human girl. A human girl who was so much a part of his life, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

"Oboeteoku, Rin, the time when you asked me if I would forget you if you die," Sesshoumaru asked her gently, aware that this was the first time he'd ever spoken to anyone besides his dead mother at such a personal level. (translation: Do you remember, Rin?)

There was not a soul in sight to know of anything that would happen in the hut. Jaken would not know and neither would the Shimizu couple. They weren't close enough to pick up anything. If this was to be the last time he would ever be able to speak to Rin, even if his words fell on deaf ears, Sesshoumaru felt that she at least deserved to know that she had been as much of a part of his life as knew he was of hers.

"You are a very important thing to me and I know that you have faithfully carried out any duties bestowed on you to the best of your abilities for me." His eyes searched her face intently, hoping for some sign of recognition.

"There is one more thing left and if you could fulfil that, you will be able to stay with this Sesshoumaru forever," he ended quietly. But Rin made no movement other than the feeble rise and fall of her body with each breath she took.

Sesshoumaru drew back against the wooden panels of the hut and rested his arm atop his knee. Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes and recalled the way Rin had first smiled happily at him. Her face may have been bruised and she may have been in pain from her sustained injuries, but her unerring devotion to him was apparent even then. It had never wavered even once in all the time that she was with him.

With a growing chill in his heart, Sesshoumaru wondered if he would ever see that smile again.

He knew that he would never, _ever_, forget Rin.

-

-

Rin was in despair. Every inch of her hurt as though she was covered with boiling blisters. Her joints felt as if they were being severed each time she moved. She could no longer tell the difference between reality and her dreams. In her disoriented mind, it was all the same. But more painful than anything else was her heart. It felt wounded, empty, shattered.

_Sesshoumaru-sama…_

She had cried and cried, but he would not come back to her. She didn't know where was Jaken or Ah-Un either. Once again, she had lost the ones in her life who were most precious to her. She was alone again, desolate and unwanted.

In her mind, she had already envisioned her reunion with Sesshoumaru. She dreamt that she was with her family again. Just as before, they were attacked and murdered by bandits. But just as the bandits turned on her with their bloodthirsty grins, Sesshoumaru appeared and finished them off. Oh the joy and elation she felt as she hurried to follow him. Sesshoumaru-sama had come for her.

She was happily following behind his footsteps when she realised that he'd brought her to another village.

"_Rin, it is time for you to return to your kind. You don't belong with me."_

_No!_ She refused. _Humans are bad. Please let me stay with Sesshoumaru-sama!_

This time, instead of turning around and letting her follow him, Sesshoumaru elevated himself and flew off instead.

She ran as far as she could, but it was no use.

_Sesshoumaru-sama… please come back_, she sobbed quietly.

There was nothing left for her anymore. She was too tired to go on. The pain consumed her and she embraced it.

-

It felt like an eternity had passed and in her mind, Rin was still where Sesshoumaru had left her. Darkness surrounded her and she couldn't see anything anymore. But as she knelt there in cold despair, she felt a warmth coming from beside her.

_Areh wa… nande? _(translation: what is that?)

Slowly, Rin turned to her side, only to find herself gazing up at someone standing over her. His face was covered in a bright light, making it difficult for her to identify him.

_White hair…_

The light hurt her eyes and she rubbed at them. _Could it be…?_

Slowly, Rin blinked open her eyes. She then realised that she was no longer on the ground of a forest and that she was in fact, lying in that same futon. Light from the rising sun streamed in through the window and fell harshly on her face.

She squinted. _A dream?_

But that warmth at her side remained. What was it? Rin shifted in her futon and found herself staring up into sharp amber eyes.

-

Sesshoumaru gasped, eyes widening, unable to hide his surprise when Rin looked up at him with those gorgeous brown eyes of hers – a scene that mirrored the time when he had raised her with Tenseiga.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" she whispered, barely able to believe what she saw. There he was in all his magnificence, seated next to her the whole time.

"Rin…"

"Hontou ni Sesshoumaru-sama?" said Rin in a weak but excited voice as she tried to get up. (translation: Is it really Sesshoumaru-sama?)

Before Sesshoumaru could react, Rin had her arms around his neck. Her body pressed uncomfortably against the hard spikes of his armour, but she didn't seem to mind.

"Sesshoumaru-sama really came back for me," she said, burying her face in the softness of his fur pelt as she started to cry.

It took Sesshoumaru a moment to recover from the shock over Rin's behaviour. He didn't really understand it, but it didn't stop the overwhelming relief that washed over him and the tenderness that he felt for her.

"Aa," he said softly, placing his hand on her back and closing his eyes. _I've come back for you. _(aa: yes; generally restricted to male speakers)

-

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Author's Notes: I think I nearly died writing this chapter. This has by far been the most challenging chapter I've ever written. So please, PLEASE review! 

I struggled a lot with this chapter… I spent days thinking about how to do it. Action, drama, angst… all into one .;;; And when I was writing it, I stopped at practically every paragraph, wondering if I was pushing Sesshoumaru too far and making him out of character.

I know that the way I portrayed Sesshoumaru in this chapter may not be perfect and I don't deny it. But I also have a reasoning as to why Sesshoumaru is capable of deep feelings. If you observe carefully, Sesshoumaru is not some block of ice where he doesn't care about anything. The series has made it quite obvious that he is capable of persistent passion (to find Tetsusaiga) and deep contempt (for his brother).

Now to be able to feel such extremely negative feelings, one must also be capable of the opposite (Ying and Yang theory). Sesshoumaru was probably extremely hurt somewhere in the past (by his father, death of his mother, or something along those lines)… that's why he carries that contempt for Inuyasha and what he represents underneath that cool exterior.

And he's not always calm and cool. There have been many instances where he's lost his temper, whether it's fighting with Inuyasha or Naraku or whatever. He'd raise his voice, yell, threaten to transform, etc…

All right, enough of my rambling x.x;;; Just felt like sharing some thoughts. This chapter is still in its first few drafts as usual. Did I mention that I really hate the new document system and coding?

Before I forget, here's a doodle I did on Sesshoumaru and Rin while I was trying to get over my writer's bock for this chapter (due to coding problems, I can't stick in the url. Type **deviantart** _dot_ **com** _slash_ **view** _slash_ **21322898** if you wanna see). Hope you guys like it :) It's for all my loyal readers like Aurora-san :D Thank you for your continuous support!

Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!


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